Well it seems the months have gotten away from me and now our Angel is almost 15 months old! WOW... 15 months. When I tell people that we had a son last year I have to stop and think because it wasn't last year, it will be 2 years before we know it.

Since I last wrote so much has happened. We had our 2nd Christmas without Ethan, I had a baby shower for our sweet Gunnar Henry. (We chose Henry to honor his late brother and Vis Abuelo)
But, biggest of all...we welcomed into this world Gunnar Henry Skaggs on January 6, 2019.
Our precious rainbow baby. The nerves and anticipation up to his birth came in waves. Always scared that something would be wrong. Being pregnant was no longer sweet and innocent. It was SCARY! Something I never felt before Ethan's birth.

We went in to be induced Saturday evening 1/5/19 and my labor started before they started pitocin. Gunnars birth did not go as planned as he was not coming down, I was not dilating much at first and I labored the longest I ever had with him, 17 hours. My epidural stopped working before my water broke and I had the opportunity to really experience labor like I never had before.
Once he arrived the cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times which was probably why he wasn't dropping low for my body to go into labor on my own like I had hoped I would. But I thank God and my AMAZING Doctor that I got induced cause the whole cord. thing worried me even with my pregnancy with Ethan.
He came out and was set straight onto my chest and I couldn't even open my eyes at first because I was so nervous. But once I did, my eyes flooded with tears. He is the most precious gift. A beautiful, wonderful and magnificent gift he is! I could not imagine a more beautiful child.
Gunnar has brought SO much joy to everyone around us. We have been told he looks like all our older kids, including his Big Brother Ethan.

The first few weeks were difficult some days because I began to realize I never got any of these moments with Ethan and I feel robbed of that time. But I always have to remember God's plan and I just remind myself of eternity.
I had to start calling Gunnar by his name because you always give your kids pet names and I found myself calling him Colton and Ethan(especially) and then having to pause to remember he is Gunnar. Sounds crazy but it just happens I guess. It is starting to get easier being a new mommy again and my grief currently isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it COULD be. We still miss Ethan and we think of him often and visit him every chance we get also.

What a sweet blessing Gunnar is to our family. I hope to keep up better with my blog and keep you all in the loop of our journey of joy after loss.