5 Month

5 Months

It doesn't seem like its been that long. It seems as if with each day that passes I am marking another day of when I will see our boy again. My heart still aches when I think of Ethan. The pain is still hard to deal with but I keep remembering that he was not meant for this world. 

You know no one ever prepares. you for life after loosing a child. You not prepared that life for everyone around you is still moving fast while your stuck in a world of questions, grief, emotions and just plain confusion. I am hoping with time it becomes easier to cope knowing that some people have forgotten that I am still living in a world of sadness without my son. But also living with the fact that some people just plain don't know how to act around a family who has lost a child. I just have to keep my faith and looking towards to the Lord for comfort and peace.

It has taken me a while to get to this blog entry because life has just been so busy and I haven't even had time to sit down and upload Ethan's 5 month photos from the kids and my visit. On Tuesday, April 17th the kids and I decided to take the day just the three of us to do the balloon release since Destiny was having a talent show in the evening. It was so nice that we FINALLY have sod laid out. The kids and I just sat and visited a long while on that beautiful day. I sat a long time and talked with Ethan while the kids played like they always do. I miss him so much and I want so desperately to hold him again. I have to remember that even though his earthly body is here with is his spirit is still living on in heaven with our God.

I am so thankful for my church family that works at the funeral home where Ethan's was laid to rest. My sweet friend has been keeping me up to date on the property and his marker Ethan's marker came a little while ago but unfortunately the color was wrong so it had to be sent back. I can't believe how quickly they had the new one finished and on the 23rd we finally received Ethan's marker! I haven't actually been to see it in person yet but I got a photo sent to me, and let me say how BEAUTIFUL it is!

We can finally close the chapter on this part of our story. Ethan's resting place is finally complete and now we can just enjoy sitting with him on his birthday's and not have to worry anymore about something being done or finished. I can't wait to sit and visit him with his precious photo right there.